| Movie | The Deer Hunter |
| Nutshell | Vietnam-era drama about male friendship, Russian Orthodoxy and where the river actually goes. |
| Good Things | Everything except when the arterial blood flow gets really bad. |
| Bad Things | Animal slaughter, Viet Cong, Kessler Vodka, Gregorian Chants |
| Features | Meryl Streep, Robert DeNiro and Christopher Walken before they went all out of control, stock footage, John Cazale. |
| Uncomfortable Moments | Protruding femur a go go, hunting sequences, trapped steel worker in ball return mechanism |
| Notable | Christopher Walken was once a beautiful young girl. |
| Best Part | Singing part. Aaaaww... |
| Best Line | This isn't it at all. They changed it. Somehow they changed it. |
| Crowns | 5 out of 5 |