Movie	The Curse of the Golden Flower
Nutshell	In Tang Dynasty China, the royal family is totally insane and they all kill each other in really fabulous clothes during the chrysanthemum festival.
Good Things	Really fabulous clothes
Bad Things	Totally insane royal family killing each other
Features	Chrysanthemum festival, Chow Yun-Fat, Gong Li, poisoned tea, gongs, Chou Jay, Liu Ye, escapes on horseback, face brands, ninja attacks
Uncomfortable Moments	The seated sword fight made my brain feel funny.
Notable	Come to think of it, if I found out my mother had embroidered 10,000 chrysanthemums, I’d think something was very wrong too.
Best Part	When the ninjas (?) appeared, I lost my shit laughing. Really.
Best Line	"You must be hiding something important from me!"
Crowns	2 out of 5