Movie	Cold Mountain
Guest Reviewer	Michelle
Nutshell	Girl falls in love with boy, he goes off to fight in war. They spend the rest of the movie trying to get back together. Wacky characters ensue along the way.
Good Things	Some nice cinematography shots, occasional flashes of a good score, Renee Zellwegger does her own Southern accent well, Kathy Baker, Natalie Portman is wondrous.
Bad Things	Pretty much everything else, from the script which has no story (sorry, Anthony Minghella, I followed you on everything else everyone hated, but not this time) to the actors who each act as if they're in a different movie, bad accents (Nicole and Jude), Renee, a-stompin' and a-hollerin'
Features	Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Brendan Gleeson, Renee Zellwegger's real-life boyfriend (at the time anyway), Jack White of the White Stripes, as her boyfriend, some T-Bone Burnett music, which I normally love, the least effective, and most vicious, battle scenes of any movie this year, torn American flag waving in the wind, (Wait, shouldn't that be a torn Confederate flag anyway?), foretelling the future at the bottom of a well, a genteel (supposedly Southern) woman who learns how to plant things, Donald Sutherland - totally wasted
Uncomfortable Moments	Nicole Kidman and Jude Law's awkward attempts at a kiss, all of the gory battle scenes, the gratuitous torture scenes, the horrible ways people treat each other
Notable	It's the only possible 2003 Best Picture contender in which I was looking at my watch every few minutes. Someone tell people that it's not advisable to put the handsome, dashing lead in A FULL BEARD, for gosh sakes. I know it's fitting the time and the situation. Jude Law and beards do not go well together.
Best Part	The things that I will remember from Cold Mountain, long after it is over, are certain shots. Poetic visuals by John Seale
Best Line	The whispered nothings the lovers share almost get poetic, but who could care?
Crowns	2 out of 5