| Movie | Bend It Like Beckham |
| Nutshell | Gurinder Chadha's cutie pie sports thing about the daughter of orthodox Sikhs who really really wants to be a footballer |
| Good Things | The cutest, winningest cast in forever, a very sweet, funny script, inspired directing - Parminder K. Nagra and Keira "Sabé" Knightly are just the cutest. Their parents are great too: Anupam Kher, Frank Harper, Juliet Stevenson, Shaheen Kahn. Plus Archie Panjabi as Pinky, Ameet Chana as light in the sandals Tony and all the female footballers. Even Jonathan Rhys-Meyers isn't as creepy as usual in this. |
| Bad Things | A little long, crooked teeth, a bit worn out romance plot, another Indian wedding (Seriously, has there ever been a movie about Indians that didn't include a completely out of control marriage celebration?) |
| Features | Adidas, Sporty Spice jabs, chick fights, t & a, cooking jokes, Heathrow, Hounslow, Mitre, Beckham shrine, shirtless Sikhs, disfiguring scars, Santa Clara (!?!?!) and what appears to be the British equivalent of Martha Stewart Mania Disorder |
| Uncomfortable Moments | Second time I've had to get up from my seat and ask an elderly couple to stop talking. Seriously, what the fuck is up with that? |
| Notable | Is it just in movies that British teen girls look like teens and not like American teens who always look like... what's that word again.... whores? |
| Best Part | The Indian ladies standing in front of the goal |
| Best Line | "She's divorced is what she is!" |
| Crowns | 4 out of 5 |