Movie	Babel
Nutshell	Shit happens all over the world in a lot of languages, even Japanese sign language because we are all the same because we are all different and we can’t understand each other and it’s just as well because movies are all really too long and don’t make sense and when there’s a character you actually like he will suddenly drive off at a million miles an hour for no reason and you’ll never see or hear from him again.
Good Things	Santiago. (What the hell happened to Santiago?), Adriana Barraza, Elle Fanning
Bad Things	Long, trite and tensionless
Features	Every actor in the world speaking six different languages and being boring boring boring
Uncomfortable Moments	My theater audience really did not deal very maturely with the naked Japanese girl wandering around at length in the latter part of the movie.
Notable	Contains a sequence showing a Mexican wedding which is approximately the length of the Bronze Age.
Best Part	Remarkably accurate depiction of angry, irrational, elderly bus tour passengers
Best Line	"Yes! It's full of Mexicans!"
Crowns	2 out of 5